My girl Oprah went on and on about this bra, and how it made your girls all "perky." And since one of my pre-menopausal gifts was a blossoming bosom, I thought it time that I purchased myself a good industrial strength bra. I ordered it online at Amazon.com and a few days later it arrived in the mail. It certainly looked different than any bra I had every seen, and I am quite sure it can stop bullets. The important question is how does it feel?
It felt great, and it sure looked great underneath my clothes, so I decided it was worth the hefty price tag, and even considered ordering another one in white.
When laundry day rolled around, I decided that I was not putting my $66.00 bra in the washing machine; surely it deserved to be hand washed. And that is when all hell broke loose. I lost the damn bra.
I tore my house up from top to bottom trying to find my Tisha. I took everything out of every dresser drawer; went through each clothes hamper; looked behind the washer and dryer; and tore apart my closet. No Tisha.
This ritual went on for two days. Yesterday, I decided to go through everything again, this time I would do it like on "Mission Organization" (on of my favorite HGTV shows) I would create a pile to donate, a pile to keep, and a pile to throw away. I found bras that were as old as my 23- year-old son (these were 32 A 's by the way); how in the hell could I keep up with a 23 year-old bra, and lose a new bra within a week? Then it was obvious, there has got to be ghosts in my house.
Why then, did the ghosts decide to just take my bra? Well, ghosts are smart. They know that I am cheap, and the thought of loosing an expensive bra would literally drive me crazy. And they are right...I couldn't sleep. I keep getting up looking for the bra. Then I remembered I had just mailed Peggy her Santas, maybe I put the bra in the box. Ruffus looked at me like I had completely lost my mind, but I was dead serious. So when Peg called me last night to tell me she received the Santas I asked her "Was there a bra in the box?" After she stopped laughing she told me no, then she said she would double check ...no bra.
So now I have a huge pile of clothes to donate to the Goodwill, and a big trash bag of clothes that I didn't even know I had. But no Tisha, so I finally went to bed.
Last night I tossed and turned all night wondering where was my bra? I said to the Lord, "I know this isn't that important in the scheme of life, but I really hope you let me find my bra." I woke up this morning, and decided to take my own advice "just let it go!" I would just go on-line and order me another Tisha, and hopefully she would arrive before we leave for our cruise next week.
I took my shower, got dressed and got ready for work. I decided to take one more look;
I looked through my dresser...no Tisha.
I looked through my closet.. no Tisha.
I looked through Ruffus's side of the closet...no Tisha.
Then I decide to look at the area of the closet that I keep out-of-season-a.k.a-too-small clothes and there behind a file cabinet was Ms. Tisha Le Mystere!
All I could say was Hallelujah, thank-you Jesus!
But what I was thinking was, Ghosts I tell you. Ghosts.
